From Heroin to Homeschool: My Miraculous Deliverance

I’m going to share how I went from a heroin addict to a homeschool Mama, with Jesus. Today, I’m a wife and a homeschool Mom of three beautiful children: Farrah (11), Mason (10), and Sophia (3). I wouldn’t have it any other way. None of these blessings are possible without my amazing husband. So, I praise God for all of that! Out of obedience to Christ, I homeschool because one day, the Holy Spirit told me to. Without Jesus, there wouldn’t be a story here to tell. So I am, in a sense… a miracle–delivered by Christ and set free from the bondage of sin and death. “Can I get an amen from somebody?” But you get to be a part of his story too–if you’re willing–we all do! Most importantly, I have come to find that the answer is simply, always… Jesus.

I grew up moving around often.  To be exact, I attended seven different schools. I was an only child, and financially, you would say our family was pretty well off. I had extremely fortunate experiences as a child, such as owning horses, playing sports, living in gorgeous houses, and enjoying vacations. I remember spending a lot of time with my Grandmother and
Grandfather. We attended the Catholic Church, where I went through the motions of first communion and accepted Christ. But to be honest, besides the 10 Commandments, my knowledge of God amounted to nothing more than a building that we sometimes frequented. During my middle school years, my parents went through a really nasty divorce. My father made extremely poor decisions that deeply wounded my mother. My mother struggled with mental health, and her addictions worsened over the years. At one point, during the custody battle, she made the first of multiple attempts to commit suicide. (She has a powerful testimony that will be featured on my blog too).

I recall feeling uncontrollable anger, intense confusion, overwhelming sadness, and a lack of control–until I made the life altering choice to smoke marijuana for the first time. Upon that decision, all the pain dissolved. It disappeared. I felt happiness and experienced laughter for the first time in a long time. With that one encounter, the devil made his home in my life; I was 12 years old. Without my knowledge, he implanted a lie into my mind. That lie suggested the best way to survive was in a mind-altering state–that I could remain happy without having to endure pain. With that one lie, the enemy destroyed my existence for years. I attempted to fill the painful voids in my emotional state with everything but God. My mental health continued to worsen and I was practically convinced that everyone in my life was the problem–not me.

At a very young age, I did and saw things that no person should ever have to experience. No supervision, combined with a dysfunctional, alcoholic and drug addicted home, provided a chaos you wouldn’t even dream of–things only written about in books. I won’t share all the detailed accounts of violence, insanity and misfortune that I witnessed during those years, but this eventually led to my opioid addiction. Trauma and the death of loved ones left deep wounds in my heart, from which I couldn’t recover. Continuous heartbreak led to a fierce desire to escape from what was starting to feel like my own personal hell. I experimented with substance after substance, fearlessly.

Somehow, I managed to graduate high school. I also obtained a cosmetology license while simultaneously becoming addicted to Percocet, which in turn led to intravenous drug use with heroin. So began the long, egregious battle–all on its own. I was in and out of dysfunctional relationships with men well into my 20’s–definitely unhealthy, sometimes toxic, and mostly abusive ones, at that. A Baltimore City rehab, years of failed jobs, destroyed relationships, tragic memories, homelessness, and jail all followed my years of addiction.

Paul says in the book of Romans, “for I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” I experienced this when I became pregnant with my first born. In the depths of my addiction, I just couldn’t manage to get clean. But the Lord knew how badly I wanted to. In my opinion, a failed medical system refused to detox me. The only option they provided was an opioid maintenance medication program, which kept me in the throes of my addiction throughout that entire pregnancy, as well as the one that followed. 

I hadn’t thought about God for a very long time. I couldn’t tell you how long I went on half-believing He wasn’t even real. But in the midst of my addiction– I randomly asked God, if he was real, to protect the baby in my womb from me. That half faithless, empty prayer, made in skeptic unbelief, later became the first of many ways I was able to see God woven throughout my past. He became real to me–because I asked.

When I gave birth, it was his divine intervention. Period. Nothing other than his mighty power alone, kept Farrah–my first child–and Mason–my second- from needing to be detoxed. Despite the number of drugs I consumed during those pregnancies, the fact that they were born healthy was nothing short of another miracle! And NO… I most definitely didn’t deserve that. I continued to struggle and succumb to my addictions well after their births. 

Only by God’s grace, mercy and might did we make it out of those years of darkness—alive. I did awful, unspeakable things during my active addiction. My first two children suffered neglect they should have never had to endure because of my battle with addiction. And because of that I almost lost them! Which finally leads us to a turn in this story… Thank God…

I would need to do a podcast to fully explain the events that occurred for me to be delivered from the hands of DEATH. Words on paper just don’t seem to do it justice. What happened to me was a real-life, God-fearing deliverance. I ponder how to explain my experience, something akin to that of Mary Magdalene. At one point, a Bible was accidentally set aflame, sending the curtains in my bedroom ablaze, while, at the same time, a fierce battle with supernatural forces raged– ferocious, movie-like demons attacking and tormenting me relentlessly– where the only weapons that could stand against the chaos were prayer, the cross, the Holy Spirit  and the mighty power of God’s word!

I could go on for hours with stories about the supernatural realm and the unseen enemy forces (Ephesians 6:12) I encountered back then due to the choices I made, and how what I now understand as witchcraft played a significant role in my story. I tried to find God in all the wrong places, and the devil, disguised as an Angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14) took full advantage of my vulnerabilities. I wandered around with a “spirit guide” disguised as God until the Holy Spirit came and revealed the name that saved my life, JESUS CHRIST!

The devil stole a lot from me and he tried to kill me too (John 10:10). I almost lost my life and my children. To be honest, they’re the reason I’m sober today.  I was given a choice: lose them to the State or keep them.  I wanted to keep them, but I didn’t know what to do, where to go, or who to turn to. It was mid-winter. I had no transportation, no childcare, no job and was headed for homelessness again–talk about an impossible situation!  I ended up at a church within walking distance from my house.  It was there I found home. The good Lord surrounded me with so many Christians, each of whom he individually selected to impact my life and save my family. They supported me, prayed with me, fed my children and gave them clothes. They surrounded me.

In obedience to the Holy Spirit, I put my son into temporary custody with a family from the church whom I didn’t even know–talk about trusting God! To this day, it was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. That couple, David and Regina, are the closest thing to Jesus I’ve ever met! They committed their lives to caring for my family and made us a part of theirs. I was discipled, and without that, I’m not sure what would have become of me. 

My son returned shortly after I found a job, and I was completely clueless with two toddlers. At that time, my sponsor became a mother to me. God used her to prepare me for spiritual warfare and to teach me how to be a Mom. She taught me pretty much everything I know.  I can’t begin to describe how she championed me, supported me and provided for me. She deserves more than I can give her.  I was broken and desperate.  She dedicated her life to serving me in a way, I now realize, only God himself would have done.  He used these incredible people to show me who He is and His love for me (Psalm 27:10). I can only share this story because of what these extraordinary people were willing to do. Praise God for obedient Christians.

I spent a lot of time in church over the next few years. I was involved in several bible studies and healing ministries while learning about recovery, God, and what it truly means to be a Christian. It took me years to learn how to be a Mother and how to embrace my identity as a Christian woman. I was often lonely and depressed, but I made Jesus my best friend, my spiritual husband, and my whole world.  I learned to battle in the trenches of spiritual warfare on my knees in prayer.  Clawing my way out of the pit of hell (Psalm 40:2). To say it was hard work feels like an understatement. 

I thank God for the people with whom he surrounded me. I’m almost certain that without them, I would have been a goner.  Being a single Mom in recovery was literally one of the hardest, most heartbreaking, and heavy-laden experiences I have ever had to endure. I strongly encourage everyone to stay in God’s will!  Gambling outside of it makes everything harder for everyone involved.  I still struggle sometimes, possibly because of the lifestyle and experiences I had prior to my encounter with Jesus.

When COVID-19 hit, I was scared, but it also became a huge relief because I was able to take my kids and stay at my father and stepmother’s house. I tease from time to time that God shut down the whole world, just to give little ol’ me a reprieve.  Although I recognize what a trying time it was for many of you, I’m just so grateful for the beautiful comfort it provided my family. That we were given the opportunity for healing after all the years I spent terrorizing them during my addiction. God gave us that blessing of time to live in harmony– something that would have been possible if addiction had not destroyed our lives. The Lord used for good what the enemy meant for evil (Genesis 50:20). God restored the time that the devil stole from us (Joel 2:25) and provided memories that I will cherish forever. 

Shortly after the COVID-19 restrictions were lifted, I returned to my job at The Department of Social Services. As part of a state initiative, I was employed as a Peer Coach and trained in child welfare practices. My position was paired with a social worker to help advocate for Mothers struggling with addiction, to receive immediate intervention and treatment, in hopes that they could keep their children. 

While dating my husband, I again fell short of God’s will for my life when I became pregnant with our beautiful daughter, Sophia. I was blessed that my husband wanted to do the right thing. As many times as I have let the good Lord down, he continues to show me his grace and mercy, for which I am eternally grateful. We were married before bringing little Sophia into this world. Being this man’s wife has brought nothing but blessings to our lives. My husband was immediately supportive when the Lord told me to start this homeschooling journey. He works hard to protect and provide for all of us. I love being his wife and a homeschool Mom. As a family, I pray that each of us seeks God daily, walking with Him, getting to know Him, and growing in our reflection of Jesus.  I can’t wait to see the goodness that God has in store for all of us throughout this journey of faith together (Romans 8:28). I hope this blog will be a blessing to you in biblical truth, spiritual growth, and homeschool wisdom–or, if nothing else, an encouragement for your personal journey with Jesus. After all, he did take me from a heroin addict to a homeschool Mom.

Imagine what he can do for you!

Erika XOXO

If you feel led by the Lord to share your testimony, I would be honored to display it on this blog. Please don’t hesitate to reach out!